The Beauty Of Boring Cars

"Steven Lang" (StevenLang) 01/28/2015 at 13:49 • Filed to: None

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Two jobs. A $20 a week food budget. College courses designed to challenge your mind and bust your balls. And a boring car. What an awesome life!

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Well at first, it was... damn good. See a car to me meant freedom. Not only to emancipate myself to the south and get rid of my hideous 'Joisey' accent, but to also become financially independent.

That's why I ended up buying this...

A then brand-new 1994 Toyota Camry coupe in candy apple red. You say it's a rolling refrigerator, but back in the glory days of the Clinton Era it was more, "Ice! Ice! Baby!"

I loved that car. To me it was like driving an under-powered Mercedes given all the inherent quality within the vehicle I could see, feel, touch, smell (oh that new car smell!) and almost taste. From an interior that wasn't made out of the all too common Tonka toy plastics of that time period. To triple seal window moldings that gave it a Lexus like hush during my travels.

Sunroof. ABS. It was loaded. It was 1990s loaded! And so help me, it was not the car I wanted in my heart at that time. What I wanted back then was this...

Everybody and their car loving dog in the automotive world wanted to drive one of these. Except me. To drive one, absolutely. The neighbors had one, and I was smitten and bitten at first sight.

But I wanted my first car to do something unusual. I wanted it to let me focus on the business world as I graduated school and pursued the good life that was the 60 hour work week as a financial analyst on Wall Street. To me this meant...

But back then owning the house behind those cars was what I was really after. A nice house paid off by the time I was 30 (God I was delusional back then!) was my ultimate goal in terms of things.

But then life happened. I became a friendly financial analyst on Peachtree Street instead of a wolf on Wall Street. I met a girl. Fell in love. Got married. And I finally figured out that corporate America was a sham and became, an auctioneer.

"A Jewish auctioneer in Georgia. Now that I haven't heard before!" it would be Arthur Fonzarelli, Henry Winkler, who would utter those words to a skinny, gawkish, Jersey kid who was at the Atlanta Jewish Federation back in 1996 with hundreds of other Gen Xers who were trying to pursue careers they didn't really want.

Maybe it was having to spend months on end being bathed under florescent lights while making numbers dance on a computer for 60 hours a week. Or maybe I was truly as arrogant as my idiot boss said I was, and I needed a reality check.

Henry Winkler gave me that reality check. What I really wanted to do was become a businessman and entertainer at the same time. I went to auctions every single day possible back then. Even ones loaded with what I saw were ugly antiques and shitty cars that drank, smoked, and hung out with the bad boys.

That would be my life! I started out as a starving auctioneer. A ringman. I guy who hoots, hollers, and helps the auctioneer create the urgency to buy.

The guy that points at a bidder and excitedly yells "Yep!". That would be my life for the next two years as I began my real education in the auction business. That boring little Camry became my rock of transportation through three hour drives to the best auto auctions in God's green Earth, and to sleazy ones that were called, "The Red Light Districts" due to them selling cars that were AS/IS for all the wrong reasons.

I needed a boring car in my life so I that could focus on other things that would get me ahead in my unique work.

I practiced my auction chant as I traveled to five to seven auto auctions every week. As each car passed on the other side of the winding one lane roads, I would up my bid price as I imagined the future glories of auctioneering on the block. As the miles piled up on the boring not-so-new Camry, I learned to further economize my life by maintaining my own car and driving conservatively.

I did have my temptations that ran through the auction block. There was a rare Toyota Celica All-Trac that I managed to buy from another car dealer for all of $1500. I kept it for a few days. But then I decided to sell it since i was near broke, which I did for $3300. There were other lusts and wanderlusts. Some of them strange.

A 1986 Honda Civic with a vinyl interior and a four-speed? Bought it for $525 and sold it on Ebay for $1576 to a Polish PhD student from Emory University. There was a Peugeot 405 that bit me on my wallet real hard, and then another Toyota Celica, this one a base model, that gave me my first real chance to learn how to drive stick.

I loved fun cars. But what I really wanted in this new life was success, and that meant making a boring hideously reliable car a keeper.

30 miles per gallon. $5 oil changes. Cheap gas, and two roommates who now rented out rooms in what my more affluent co-workers called, "A nice little trailer park house". That boring car I bought five years prior was now literally saving my bacon so that I could eat and sleep the auction world.

I became a lucky guy by working my ass off and finding any edge possible. I could auction in Spanish, and I was 'conversational' with it in a north Georgia world where the only Spanish word widely known was 'taco'. I could "put deals together" as a ringman who could speak the language of Latino immigrants who would come to the public auto auctions and buy their first cars as groups.

That Camry got me everywhere I needed to go, The fun came with the journey.

Boring car? Didn't matter. It still doesn't because truth be told, a car often times has to put on many faces as you travel on life's own highway. So when you see some beautiful Audi or MINI as you drive along in a bland beige blahmobile, remember that every good boring car has true inner beauty.

Even old Camrys.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 13:51

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FP in 3...2....

Boxer_4 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 13:59

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A friend of mine's family had a 93 LE for 13 years, and I was always impressed with how well built they were. We had a 99 LE for 13 years, and while not quite as well built as the 93, it was still a really good car.

These older Camrys definitely have an inner beauty, but not everyone can find it.

Snooder87 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:00

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Jesus.

I hope you don't take this wrong way, but I'm currently in the middle of a career critical decision point and holy fuck do I never want to make the choice to swing for the fences on a "fun" and interesting small town career if it means driving a camry and having roomates in my thirties.

I'll take 60 hours a week in front of a computer screen before that any day.

Unless you made enough to be driving a ferrari now. Then it would have been worth it.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:02

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My boring car that I loved was a 2000 Hyundai Elantra wagon. My mom bought it when I was high school as a disposable car because she was sick of having "better" cars break down on her constantly. I think it was 12 or 13k out the door. My mom drove it for about a hundred thousand trouble-free miles before I got my hands on it and drove it all over the country for a few more years. The damn thing was unkillable. I drove it through a bush, every mechanic told me that the transmission was about to fail (it wasn't), showed off my "mad rally skills yo ™ ," and who knows what else. Towards the end, I was actually trying to kill it since I had another car lined up and waiting for me and the resale value was null, but it just never happened. After who knows how many thousands of miles of not changing the oil or otherwise doing maintenance, I noticed a grinding noise. The brake pads had finally worn to the point where the caliper was eating into the rotors. I drove it for a few more days until it really began to scare me, then called a wrecker to scrap it. In hindsight, I kind of wish I kept it since I now own two sports cars and never seem to have enough space. As a postscript, the car still isn't dead. Three years later, I'm driving down the road and see it parked at a construction site. I know it was mine because of the distinctive scratches from when I drove it through a bush and marks on the back from a bike rack. Yes, my Hyundai became that 400,000 mile Toyota pickup that you see working harder than any new F-series ever will. It was cheap and honest, and that made it perfect. There aren't enough of those being made anymore.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Snooder87 01/28/2015 at 14:06

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You spend that much time looking at numbers before? Trust me, it gets old.

Steven Lang > Snooder87 01/28/2015 at 14:15

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I got the house when I was 23 and had the roommates until 27.

As for the 60 hour work week making numbers dance on a computer? That's a flashback from a hell that took place a lifetime ago.

Trust me. A Ferrari would not be worth it. There's a reason why most Ferraris are red.

Boxer_4 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 01/28/2015 at 14:15

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That's awesome. Back when Hyundai made cars that were still simple and honest. I wish Hyundai brought back the Elantra wagon. I really liked the Touring. The new GT (or any of the new Hyundai products) don't really do it for me.

Steven Lang > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/28/2015 at 14:16

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Can I put a lemon merengue pie on your hand first?

J "oppo" Zeke > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:17

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Much better story than the usual "mortgage your life to maintain and service luxury car X purchased for the price of a new Honda" stories. Well written.

thebigbossyboss > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:20

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My boring car that I loved was '92 Ford Tempo. Wasn;t that reliable, wasn't fast...wasn't cool. But who cares.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:21

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"Front Page" in this case, not "Face Palm". Although, if you give me a pie, it will not go to waste.

Ike B > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:23

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Wait, Toyota made that entire Camry Coupe ad to assure people that just because it doesn't have 4 doors, it's not going to fall apart compared to the regular Camry?

But yeah I love my practical old Volvos and BMWs. It helps that they take to turbocharging easily.

Steven Lang > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/28/2015 at 14:23

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LOL! My mistake. Thanks for making my day!

Megamullin > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:25

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So true. We spend a lot of treasure and sweat for our cars. Sometimes they aren't the goal, they just help us get there. Thanks Steve!

CALUSA > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:25

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I always liked the base versions of cars, with grey/ plastic bumpers and some hub caps.

Steven Lang > thebigbossyboss 01/28/2015 at 14:28

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I bought one for $700 about two weeks ago. It was an 89' model and picture perfect with only 69k miles.

The reason why I still remember it is because I bought two other boring $700 cars that evening. A blue 1992 Toyota Tercel, 4 door with automatic, and a 1999 Suzuki Esteem wagon that was surprisingly well equipped.

The Tempo sold for $1500 or $1800. The Esteem sold for $2000, and the Tercel needed another $700 to make it whole (an insane list of big and small recon items), and I financed that one for about twice the price of the Tempo.

The best car of the three was the Esteem. Although the Tempo wasn't too far behind. The Tercel was driven another 50k miles with near zero maintenance. A great quality car but God was that thing a misery to drive.

Mazarin > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:29

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My 6000 LE(or "Gooo-Lee") was my 1st car. Gooold too.

55_mercury > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:31

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That era of Camry was the best era. My mom had a 92 Camry. For the time they were actually very nice cars in regards to fit and finish as well as goodies it came with. She put well north of 300,000 miles on the car and it never gave us a problem.

I too believe in cars that are less of a liability. I am 37 now and still drive the bare-bones 96' Tacoma four banger small reg cab I bought right out of high school. Like you I too was thinking about savings, a house and so on.

That truck saved me a TON of money. I now own a house I bought in Coastal Cali mostly because I scrimped and saved for years and that included not buying new cars every 5-6 years.

aquaticko > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:32

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My boring car is a recently-purchased 2006 Subaru Forester that came, as standard, with 118,000 miles on it. It ferries me faithfully (so far) to and from my 40-hour-a-week job as a hospital janitor while I attend nursing school, which I'm attending after coming to the utterly astounding realization that my philosophy degree isn't going to get me many job offers. 25, living at home with mom and younger brothers, I'm anxious to feel like this kind of ingratiation to low expectations and bootstraps-drive-bs will pay off.

It will, right?

Steven Lang > Boxer_4 01/28/2015 at 14:32

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I have a very soft spot in my heart for a Y2K Elantra Wagon with a 5-speed.

If I weren't in the car business and needed a keeper beater, that would have been it. A great car with virtually no cult following to drive the cost of parts up.

Matthew Urso > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:32

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Steven Lang > Mazarin 01/28/2015 at 14:32

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I'm still wishing for an old STE to pop back into my life. But I haven't seen one at the auctions since the bad old days of 2008.

Steven Lang > aquaticko 01/28/2015 at 14:34

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It will, and I have a secret for you.

Your Forester is not boring. Not by a longshot. Keep it and save for a house, Chances are that Forester will come in handy.

LaLegatron > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:34

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Boom... My old Passat. My favourite car I ever owned ... Not the best but my fave

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Steven Lang > Matthew Urso 01/28/2015 at 14:35

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They are until you have to replace a wiring harness in a wagon or a blower motor in a 240.

perp > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:35

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This gen of Camry will be hard to beat for quality/reliability. I read that at the time this car was developed the yen/dollar exchange ratio was such that you got way more for your money. Interior materials were top notch. Everything about this car was solid. I owned an '92 XLE for a long time and sold it with ~185k miles on it. That car was the very definition of reliable (ok, so I haven't owned a LandCruiser...). Say what you will about them being boring appliances, but the engineering, precision and quality that goes into making these things run forever is super fascinating to me.

Steven Lang > perp 01/28/2015 at 14:38

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I agree. Although I will tell you it wasn't perfect. The motor mounts were substandard. The rear struts would groan whenever you went over a dip or a bump, and the dashboard, albeit soft and Lexus like, couldn't handle the sun as well as other Toyota models.

Over 20 years later that Camry is still on the road with over 300,000 miles, and an odometer reading that apparently was pushed back 200k miles six years after I sold it.

wontacceptthis > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:39

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So, being Jalopnik and all, it has to be said:

THE ANSWER WAS MIATA.

You would have still gotten 30 mpg, still paid $5 for an oil change, still bought super cheap tires, still driven 100,000s of trouble free miles. What was the price difference between the two in 1994? Did you need a back seat? I wouldn't have batted an eye if your dream car was a Porsche 968, but I'm not sure how things would have been much different for you had you bought a new Miata instead.

Justin Hughes > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:42

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My first car was a 1982 Pontiac 6000LE, very much like the one in your top pic. It was super boring, but it took me to college, my first summer jobs, and general shenanigans for several years. The memories are the only good thing about that car, but they are good ones.

My second car was a 1995 Mercury Tracer. It was also super boring, but aside from an automatic transmission made of glass, it was good basic transportation. I did my first few autocrosses in this car. It was terrible at it, but I still learned the basics. It continued to be my daily driver after I picked up my 1983 BMW 320i to have fun with. Later on, I sold it to a girl I was dating. A few years later, I married that girl, and that stupid Tracer ended up back in my driveway again for a few more years before she swapped it for an Impreza.

Boring cars, both of them. But they were a big part of my life for a while, and even then I was customizing them with ham radios, extra fog lights, air intake mods, and such. In the beginning it's better to do what you can with what you've got than to blow all your cash on something fancy and flashy. Only last year did I finally buy my first new car ever.

Steven Lang > wontacceptthis 01/28/2015 at 14:46

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A Miata was a terrible fit for NYC back then. I grew up five miles from the Bronx and between the fact that my brother's car had been broken into and stomped in within a year of his medical residency, there was no way in God's green Earth I would have opted for it.

Not unless I had cheap access to a garage which, even then, was pricey as hell.

Boter > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:46

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Only cars I've owned are Saturns. A 2001 SW2 gifted to me (or I guess sold for a buck to make the DMV happy, it was kinda fuzzy but worked out in the end) by my Dad after 150,000 of original ownership. Was my workhorse.

Eventually threw a rod and now I have an Ion coupe. What most Jalops would consider a boring car, I still drive well, have decorated and given aftermarket rims, but it's paid off, relatively economical, and reliable. As much as I may eventually want a "nicer" car, reliability is the big thing that will probably forever bring me back to econoboxes - and, as the saying goes, having fun making a slow car go fast.

NoneOfYourBiz > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:47

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Neither my first nor least expensive car but boy I loved my 2003 Hyundai Elantra GT, bought used in 2007.

Maybe my feelings were influenced slightly by the crap-tastic 1992 Tercel it replaced...

perp > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:48

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We sold ours well over 6 years ago, and I still see it around town. I wonder how many miles it has now. Probably not over 300k, like yours. Now that you mention it, I do recall replacing a motor mount once... Our dash held up just fine over the course of our ownership. I remember when we were shopping for that car, there was a lot that had a '91 Lexus LS400 with about 100k in fabulous shape that was about the same price. I reeeeeeally tried to convince my wife that that was the car we needed to get. :( I really wish we would have.

wontacceptthis > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:50

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Ahhhh. I see. Not exactly suburban Pittsburgh there, huh.

Captain Intenso > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:55

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My first car ever was a 1995 Toyota Camry in black. Being my first car, it holds a special place in my heart, and I kept it for about 5 years until the airbags deployed in a fender bender and totalled it. But I never was too adventurous with it other than losing my virginity in it and once trying to offroad on an empty lot with it.

My second car, however, is still very near and dear to my heart. I drove a 1995 Honda Accord EX in white with an auto tranny (like the one pictured) for nigh-on 7 years.

It worked great with no complaints, and it was not too hard on the eyes either. Sure the leather was a little sun-dried and I had to replace the aftermarket stereo TWICE due to break-ins, but that handsome sucker carted my ass to and from law school twice a year for 3 years (Omaha to NC). I had around 180K on the clock when I had to replace the broken speedo and had to start with the a new odometer reading 000000. I thought it was sporty enough, what with its "spoiler," alloys, and sunroof. Of course it was a 4-speed 4-cylinder (VTEC, yo!), but it was nimble and permitted occasional spirited driving. And it only failed me once in the Nebraska winter. I got stuck moving it out of my apartment's unplowed parking lot plowers came to plow the 10 inches of blown snow from the previous night. It cranked - sometimes unwillingly - in the single digit temps without fail.

But I eventually traded it in (too soon?) when it was going to need some repairs that rivaled the entire value of the car. I had close to 210K on it when I traded it in on my current car (04 S60R). I was glad to be out of a car that was beyond old enough to have its driver's license.

Reading your post got me reminiscing about my old ride, and I can't thank it enough for being simple and yet enjoyable and most of all reliable. The more I think about it I wouldn't mind having a car that's easy to park, easy to get up and down ramps into parking lots, turns better than an ocean liner, and didn't treat bumps in the road like small canyons.

Greener grass, though, right?

thebigbossyboss > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:55

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Ha. Didn't know anyone still had Tempo's. But as you mentioned bargain basement prices now, might have to get another. :P

Thanks for the note.

Cap'n Jack Sparrow > 55_mercury 01/28/2015 at 14:56

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YES!! I saved through college by driving a '99 Escort until it needed too much work at 188k (Brake Pads, exhaust, shoes, drums, tires, trans fluid change, etc.). Currently rolling in a '06 Sebring with 105k trouble free miles!

Scaggnetti > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:56

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This was my first car. She was reliable as hell and completely terrible to drive. My sister drove it all through her high school years after me, never had a single issue. Wonder who has it now...

Gumbeaux > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 14:59

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My 96' Camry is still running and purring. 215k and finally just this year did not pass inspection because of a small exhaust leak. Found the leak in the flex and 160$ later I have another fully licensed year to go. Never thought I would enjoy having such a reliable car. Fun cars will be in the future, but I could not be happier with my Camry.

KazVH > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:00

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I needed to buy a practical car, so I got a Buick Lucurne CXS (with the N* V8) and I love every second of it, fast enough, plenty of space, made after the big problems with the N* were sorted, and super comfortable. Also I doubt I'll ever get pulled over, at 100mph the thing still looks slow as molasses.

Dake > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:03

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Amen and cheers for the boring cars. Sometimes grown-ups must make tough choices and choosing a boring, but inexpensive and reliable car can be one of the toughest. But the flip-side is, for many it's what enables us to have something more fun down the road.

My boring car was a 3 year old Toyota Echo. It never failed me, it never even had a bad day. I installed an after-market suspension from Tein about three years in - nothing crazy, but it lowered it about a half inch and eliminated much of the body roll so it was suddenly a little more fun to drive (and far more stable on the highway). I sold it to a buddy after eight stress-free years and it's still going strong.

In the meantime, I saved money on car payments and gas and now I've been daily driving an FR-S for the last two years and it's been awesome.

Boxer_4 > perp 01/28/2015 at 15:06

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I seem to remember reading before that Ford bought a 1992 Camry to tear down and examine while they were designing the third generation Taurus. I believe they couldn't figure out how Toyota managed to build a car of that level and still be reasonably priced.

Black Yuppie > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:15

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I'm 25, married (for 5 year), working full time and finishing up my bachelor's. Had it not been for my 95 Honda Del Sol S auto, none of these things would be true, or even possible. God bless all variants of the Honda civic

F1ramos > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:17

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holy crap this is like my life right now...

In school, driving an Impreza, not even a WRX or STI.

Gets me through everything, anytime, anywhere. However there is the lure of other nice cars around which is my motivation to strive hard for my studies!

And I do also want a Celica All-Trac maybe a GT four cause i could barely find the USDM ones.

I know it is slow and boring but I will always love my Impreza! (As you can see in my profile picture or whatever you call it these days) If i could keep it forever, I would.

gla2yyz > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:18

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My first car was a 1990 Mercury Topaz. Not "technically' mine but my Mum never used it. It was the ticket to untold adventures. It was driven through many fields, bounced off many curbs, hooned in many snow-covered parking lots and had a fuel pump that whined like it was on its last legs from the day we got it to the day we traded it four years later. It wasn't without its problems (on one occasion the entire belt tensioner and bracket decided without warning that it didn't want to be a belt tensioner any more and made a break for it) and about a year before we traded it my Mum played chicken with a refrigerator truck and lost. Badly. The cheap botch job allowed us to limp it on for another year before replacing it with a 1995 Monte Carlo. Man I miss that car!

The last I heard the dealer gave it to his daughter to drive from Toronto to Halifax, Nova Scotia. it made it as far as Moncton, new Brunswick. It's probably been recycled and is living out its life as a toaster by now.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:19

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It's a little known fact that it's impossible to run out of room in a 2000 Elantra wagon.

I probably did it > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:20

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That STE was a cool car in its day. Certainly not boring like the Camry.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > aquaticko 01/28/2015 at 15:21

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Since when is an old Forester boring? A new one, yeah, but that one's good.

Kyree S. Williams > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:27

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I do not like the Camry sedan of that generation, but the coupe is handsome and has aged extremely well. It almost looks like a rounded-off coupe version of the original LS.

todaytomorrowSD > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:30

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Still don't understand the obsession with these...

Sam > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:33

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We had an old Camry, a 1990. I nearly cried when it finally died and was sent to the crusher.

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:33

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I have almost this same exact poster. I still love looking at it. I don't have much of a higher education, but I will go back to school for one eventually. I luckily will have my house paid off by 35, if not some time sooner, fortunately.

This is a wonderful post, excellent read.

whatmatters > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:36

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1989 oldsmobile 98 that reeked of hay for some reason.

passport to freedom though

Lee Wilcox > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:36

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Started an air conditioning business in Houston in 1985. My boring car that got me about 6-7 years (2 engines/250k miles) was an 81 Datsun King cab. Business was fine until divorce happened. Now retired and think I may (hope so) have found another with the 95 5runner. My next family car will probably be Toyota and used.

I pray for boredom when any car repair or lab test can be excitement you don't want.

bidwell07 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 01/28/2015 at 15:43

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My wife (then girlfriend) bought a brand new 2006 Elantra 5-door in college. It was an EXCELLENT little car for what it was and what we needed. We put 72,XXX miles on it traveling between SC and PA after college before we traded it in in 2009. The ONLY things it ever needed was rear brake pads ONCE and tires ONCE. Oh and it also went through a disturbing amount of passenger side headlights.

I've often considered finding another (or maybe the GT) just like it for commuting.

Raphmoe > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:43

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lol

KilgoreTrout53 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:43

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I recently sold my 1998 BMW 323is stick and what I got +$900 put me into a 2004 Lincoln Town Car. Yep, as I enter oldfartdom, I wanted the plain, safe and über comfortable couch on wheels. Ever since my old man purchased his '61 Continental, I've had a secret hankering for a Lincoln. His was a head-turner, back in the day. Mine isn't and that's OK. Now I'm looking forward to those migratory trips to Florida, yeah.

VWDashboardLight > aquaticko 01/28/2015 at 15:43

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I'm itching for an older forester with a manual. The idea of a SUV (or would you call it a crossover?) with a manual always entertains me to where I spent a few hours on Craigslist looking for one, hopeful to find one within my budget.

The more recent model foresters have become bland.

infectthis > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:55

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Sometimes having the cheap boring car enables you to be able to save $$$ for the toys that count (and to save them from the NY winters/salt).

Been driving my wife's old and unkillable camry in the winter. Costs nearly nothing to insure, good in the snow; heat works.

Driving the 'Can' as it's [somewhat affectionately] called, allows me to save the fleet of toys for warmer weather:

Kevin Rhodes > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 15:57

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The 6000STE was not really a boring car in its day, it really was an American Audi. Shame they ultimately where the same GM-grade crap as everything else they made at the time.

My boring cars have all been Volvos. 240, 740s, 940s. A dozen of them over the years. Solid and stolid. Great cars, but as exciting as a nap, even the turbos. But I always had interesting stuff in the garage too. Now my boring car is a BMW 328i station wagon. Yeah, boring is relative. :-)

Kevin Rhodes > Snooder87 01/28/2015 at 16:01

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I'm 46 and I still have a roommate - we have lived together for 14 years. Why not? It's my house, but I don't need all the space, and the money he pays me every month just about equals the payment on the M235i I have on order. And I only have to do 1/2 the lawn mowing and snowblowing. It's a great arrangement for both of us.

The Powershift in Steve's '12 Ford Focus killed it's TCM (under warranty!) > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:04

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My boring car was a 1997 Honda Accord EX sedan with a 4 cylinder and an automatic. It was silver beige, like everything third car Honda sold between 1990 and 2002. I got the car from the original owner, a middle aged aunt whose children were out of the house by the time she bought it. Everything worked, the interior was spotless, and the paint was even in good shape. I drove that car all over creation throughout high school and college. For two years, my younger sister drove it as her first car, hitting every immovable object she got close to, while I dabbled with - wait for it - a Miata. After two years, I took ye olde Honda back from my sister and sold the Miata - it being poorly suited to northeast winters and too small for daily driving needs. The car had dents and dings on every panel by then and the paint was wearing off with every washing, but I loved that damn car. Despite being pretty slow, old, and painted the most awful shade of silver Japan let loose on the American public, it did everything I needed to and more. It was great on gas, barely broke*, had power everything and a sunroof that worked, and could carry all my friends and stuff anywhere I wanted to. Hell, it being a 90's Honda, it handled with eager agility and the SOHC VTEC system gave the motor a bit of gumption starting at 3500RPM. It was by no means sporty, but it had personality and energy in a supremely practical package.

I eventually sold the car to a friend at 150k miles...who promptly killed it by driving it 40 miles with no coolant (the only heater hose we couldn't access without removing the intake manifold let loose, and he kept driving rather than stopping and getting it towed). That warped the block or head and blew the head gasket. Other than the whine in the transmission and the beat up bodywork, it drove well and had plenty of life left. I miss that car, far more than I've missed the Miata. As my father and I said after a long road trip in it - it was the best car in it's class in 1997, and that made it pretty damn good 10 years later.

*one ABS sensor at ~110k miles and a transmission whine starting at 100k miles that never became a problem. Other than that, we changed belts, hoses, brakes, shocks, and changed the oil. Nothing else really went wrong.

russkunkel > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:04

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Fuck this car. Go ahead hate away, fanboys.

Steven Lang > KilgoreTrout53 01/28/2015 at 16:05

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Panthers like yours are among my favorite boring cars.

I had an 03 Town Car a little over a year ago that I couldn't sell to save my ass from first base. It was a dealer cream puff that had actually been used by the local Ford/Lincoln dealership for their managers. Gorgeous burgundy model.

Thanks to gas prices it took about seven month to sell. I'm now real skittish about buying older V8 cars. But if the right deal comes along...

Fakeguy Madeupname > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:08

1

My dad used to own a Mercury Topaz and that thing was horribly unreliable. We ran into a strange issue where turning left could sometimes cause the engine to stop. We never found out why. He traded the car in for a Corolla a few years later and never had any issues with that car.

landrover 96 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:13

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I actually love this body style of camry for some odd reason. Their not completely boring thier is one on the Internet that make slightly more than 1000hp and is a bored out 3.0L V6 the car came with, with of course a ton of mods

Steven Lang > Kyree S. Williams 01/28/2015 at 16:25

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Great to read you here Kyree.

KickstartBBQ > bidwell07 01/28/2015 at 16:26

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The first car I bought brand new was a then-all-new 2001 Elantra,. I lamented the fact that the wagon was no longer available as an option, as I really liked the previous wagons and have always been a wagon/hatch fan. I bought mine early in the model year, and irritatingly, 6 months later they announced the GT hatch.

Steven Lang > todaytomorrowSD 01/28/2015 at 16:27

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A new and loaded Camry from that time was better than any Jaguar... in every respect.

KilgoreTrout53 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:37

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Most of the interest / demand in panther platform cars is by uber drivers. The guy who sold me his father's one-owner sweet car told me he didn't want his Dad's car turned into a taxi. Flipping these cars requires being near a metro area, so you can catch the uber-demand. Otherwise, demand is slack, as you noted.

I plan to hold onto this baby, and in 4 or 5 years, find another replacement boring TC while they're still around. The price depreciation is your friend with these cars: you can pick up a $42,000 car for under $5,000 today. The car will be boring, safe, reliable and oh so comfortable, floating down the road. Not a bad deal, boring is good.

Ike B > LaLegatron 01/28/2015 at 16:39

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My favorite part about the one my mom had (1990 or so) was how easy it was to push start if the battery died. You could have put a scooter battery in that thing. It rolled about as easily as a shopping cart. Jump in, press clutch, first gear, pop clutch. This could be accomplished at a slow walking pace, and the car would just motor away like it was nothing.

It had the 1.8 16v engine in it, which was just so much fun to rev. The mechanical reclining rear seat in a car with cloth interior may be the only of its kind ever.

Sancho > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:47

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*COUGH* *COUGH-COUGH* Excuse me...

*COUGH*

landrover 96 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:48

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sadly my boring cars haven't been the best with me. Although the car that I mostly learned how to drive on was either my father 05 subaru baja turbo( witch we still have) with 163k strong or my moms now gone 10 Ford Expedition EL. The baja has been mostly my daily drive since I still don't work and my cars have been mostly project cars. I would say that I've pretty much have had 3 first cars. The first being a 1991 chevy camaro with a 305 v8 in it and an automatic with over 300k on the car. That lasted not long and since I really only got my permit before that car had to go from just sittin and then blowing out a freeze plug. Then I got a 1995 Subaru Legacy wagon, first year for the outback, that had 245k on it and had a salvage title. That car lasted about 2 months because I though it was a boring car but still decent. That car had a lot of abuse since we had a Freind look up the vin and had 4 car accidents under neath its belt. Then I traded that for a 1998 Ford Expedition with 200k on it and I'm still somewhat dd it. It suck for gas and the motor need to be replaced since we had a compression test done on it and found out that it had low compression in 2 cylinders. So yeah I probully should have stuck with getting a boring car and stuck with that until I get out of college. Thankfully my father has agreed to do something with me getting something a little more economical for a dd when I do go to college and I've had my eye on a 94 Camry XLE V6 for 4k in prestige shape. It still even has the original radio in it

Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 16:50

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I've never owned a boring car.

BullittFan_Fords4Life > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 17:22

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My daily driver was totalled earlier this month by a reckless idiot on the expressway. I just picked up the replacement this past weekend, and am loving it so much. A 2004 Mercury Sable LS wagon- 78k miles, rust free and immaculate inside and out. It came with the 3.0L DOHC V6, leather and wood trimmed interior, automatic HVAC, premium sound, and new tires, brakes and fluids. This car is a comfortable, spacious rocket with the 200hp Duratec engine.

SuburbanPhile > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 17:23

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My daily = Lexus LS430. Boring? A bit. Soulless? Certainly. But dents don't matter, parking outside doesn't matter, and I wash it whenever I need to get the old dirt off. It's very freeing.

grover funderbunk > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 17:24

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My dad always called our car "the jalopy." Like, "No, you can't bring fish sticks in the jalopy," never any other name. It was only later in life I found out we drove a camry.

grover funderbunk > Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig 01/28/2015 at 17:32

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Is a car boring if it has some previous owner's name custom pinstriped on the door?

I think not!

"Edward" wasn't boring, he had a name. yeah

Louis Subearth > Boxer_4 01/28/2015 at 17:42

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Hyundai makes the i30 cw, which is a station wagon stretched i30/Elantra GT. Having it federalized shouldn't be hard, but having it built in somewhere outside Europe might be a little hard.

Boxer_4 > Louis Subearth 01/28/2015 at 17:58

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I do like the new i30cw. Hyundai should have continued to bring the cw instead of the standard i30. Both the Elantra Touring and the new GT are built in South Korea.

I wouldn't mind if they gave us i40 wagon, too.

Robert Chandler > Boxer_4 01/28/2015 at 18:08

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That book is "The Fall and Rise of the American Automobile Industry" by Paul Ingrasia. Ford did buy a V6 camry, tested it and took it down to the smallest part. Their findings make compelling reading. This is a must read for gear heads.

foxbird87 > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 18:10

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I've come to the conclusion that the ultimate luxury vehicle is one you absolutely don't care about. Imagine a guy is sitting in his S-class on the way to work, getting a heated shiatsu massage from his seat and sending a tweet from his infotainment system while waiting for the light to turn green, and he sees the check engine light. He groans, because he knows he'll be obsessing about it constantly until he gets to the shop, which will probably cost more than the clapped out Cutlass sitting next to him. Meanwhile, the guy in the Cutlass sees his check engine light, thinks, "yep, it's still there," then goes back to wondering how far he would jump if he floored it to the train tracks across the intersection.

Having cool cars is awesome. Fast. Pretty. All the fancy gadgets. It's great, and it makes you feel great. But not having to worry about dents or noises or regular maintenance, that's true luxury. I've had my share of both cool cars and shitboxes, and when winter comes and it's time to put the toys away it's almost a relief. I miss the speed and the noise, the thumbs up from kids and the disapproving looks from old ladies, but at the same time life gets a lot easier. Parking on the street in a strange neighborhood no longer keeps me up at night. Gravel roads go from agonizing hell to hooligan paradise. That mysterious squeak is a mild annoyance instead of a long night covered in oil and dirt. It's a kind of luxury that you'll never get in an actual luxury car. Unless that luxury car is your beater, which is a whole other kind of awesome.

Robert Chandler > VWDashboardLight 01/28/2015 at 18:12

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Manuals in Forresters are fun, even though the shifters feel like stirring a bucket of baseballs.

FlyBoy > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 18:32

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Not boring, but after lusting after this car for an hour each way on the bus in middle school, I finally found one of these, a 2001 Mazda Protegé MP3 for sale just 60 miles away from home. It's like it was meant to be. I didn't even have my license yet and I didn't care. It was love at first sight, and 60k trouble-free miles later it still is. I will keep it forever.

LaLegatron > Ike B 01/28/2015 at 19:07

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Yeah, they were so simple to work on. Such a big engine bay you could get at everything. I regretted sellotape so much I tried to find it a few years Kate but couldn't... So bought another one instead. But this time it had electric windows AND power steering. This was a GL. the blue one was just an L or maybe a CL.. I don't recall.

Fuel_of_Satan > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 19:13

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Camry? Brand, spanking new ? Jeez, you've had it bad. I'm on my most boring car right now and it's still a manual, diesel, wagon in almost brown (Burgundy).

oldirtybootz > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 19:16

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My previous car was my truly boring car, a 2010 Ford Focus sedan with a 4 speed auto. It was my first brand new car, purchased with the help of my parents, and it was a perfectly sensible car. It did everything I asked of it, took my joining in stride, but it was just so damn boring. Sure, I had great memories in it, but not necessarily of it, not like the Bronco that was my first car. The Dart may be more temperamental, but I'm excited to drive it every day. It's still a fairly boring car, but the Italian engine and manual tranny make it feel more special.

Tl;Dr I've done boring, its not the end of the world and doesn't mean you have to hand in your Jalop card, but I wouldn't want to do it again.

granturismochris > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 19:30

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best boring car i have owned was a vauxhall omega (aka cadillac catera to american readers, but in uk we could get it with 3 pedals) 2.5 24v cdx. it was the biggest engine i'd ever had at the time, which made it somewhat better (and more reliable) than the passat i had previously. it was plenty quick enough at the time and actually handled quite well for a boat, capable of some pretty nifty drifting. it also had seat heaters which had no problem setting melting the seats to my ass. so i guess it wasn't all that boring after all.

mallthus > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 19:42

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It can be argued that the 1985 6000 STE was GM's first credible sports sedan, which makes it much, much more than a car.

Louis Subearth > Boxer_4 01/28/2015 at 19:54

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I thought the i30cw was only built in Czech Republic, I stand corrected.

Pete Larson > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 20:03

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Had a 1982 Escort L 4 door. Kinda boring. Discovered SCCA Autocross in 1983. In time, it became less boring. 115k on the clock and it was getting a little tired. Went from Stock to Street Prepared; 1.6 became 1.9, 4 speed became 5 speed, two 40 DCOEs and a tri-y header, lowered and stiffened. My wife drove it back and forth to work during the week, and I played on the weekends. Fun for both.

RUQKNF > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 20:15

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Well I had the misfortune and later the pleasure of owning a 1988 or 89 (don't exactly remember) Dodge Diplomat. It was my fathers hand me down detective vehicle. Powered by a 360 cid V8 that got worst gas mileage than I could afford it was a calculated move by father to buy me that car when it went out of service! Why? Because the thing would never die no matter what I tried!! Not to mention the fact that I could never floor it because I couldn't afford to watch the fuel gauge drop while the speedo rapidly went up! But I quickly learned this pigs strengths, illegal parking never got me a ticket, cars would always get out of my way and my absolute fav nobody would dare cut me off! Hell even cops would nod! When I could afford a spare tank of fuel it was quick, and it had this really nice feature of locking up the left rear wheel when making fast u turns!

Scrape > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 01/28/2015 at 20:23

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I had one of these right when they came out. A 2001.5 if you will. It was a great little car all around. Comfortable, 5 speed, leather, power moonroof, and tons of cargo space (I've moved some surprising things in the back of that car) I made a mistake trading it in on a new car (then again, it was getting up there in miles), and I still miss it. I've started looking for a new car again, and am seriously looking at getting the new GT, or if I can find one that I like, the Kia Forte 5 SX , you know, the one with the 201HP turbo under the hood.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 20:34

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Terrific, well-written post. Thanks!

estorilsuprasedan > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 22:58

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The 1999 Camry we've had since I was four just died on December 30th. I loved that car. It started every time, drove me to college, to see my best friend in Syracuse, to my first ever interview, and to my first date. I cried when the dealer scrapped it, but my tears fell on my new '15 WRX :)

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig 01/28/2015 at 23:17

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I did once, it was a Camry. I broke it doing neutral drops at 4000rpm.

Boxer_4 > Robert Chandler 01/28/2015 at 23:22

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I've heard that piece repeated before, but I never knew where it was from. I'll have to add that to my reading list.

Boxer_4 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 01/28/2015 at 23:24

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The new ones are still more interesting than the majority of the competition, however.

Stephen Backus > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 23:27

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talltrees > Steven Lang 01/28/2015 at 23:31

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My sister still has this car in white, a '96, well over 200k, finally getting too rusty to replace the windshield, but I can't remember a time it's ever left her stranded, even on a recent jaunt from Central CA up to Seattle and back.